Hear Our Voices: Mark's Story

"Life is like candy - you can't get enough"

This is Mark's story. Today he is a satisfied, 43-year-old man. He has an apartment, a job he likes, people who appreciate his work and he has a friend. He and his family say it is a well-earned miracle.

There was a time, and it doesn't seem so long ago, when Mark was a little boy and his heart was broken daily. He wasn't just like all the other kids. He had a different bone structure in his face and was termed dyslexic. The other children mocked, teased and bullied him. They threw things at him and chased him -- even up to his own doorstep. It wasn't so unusual in those days. Bullies were allowed to bully and a sensitive boy took the brunt of it. Mark's parents tried to protect him. They talked with the school and with other parents. These efforts only intensified the attacks on Mark by the other children. He experienced life as lonely and isolated. There were no friends and there were few happy times.

At the end of 7th grade Mark tested out at the 8th grade level, but still he was in special education classes. Being called out to attend the special classes, was additional humiliations and his self esteem was being nearing zero. He was treated with Ritalin and Cylert, as were so many children in those days -- and even now.

One September day, Mark was in school and he experienced what was later termed a schizophrenic episode. He was found wandering the hallways, bumping into walls and experienced memory loss. He was 14 years old. He was sent to a psychiatrist and diagnosed as schizophrenic. Mark was immediately referred to a youth psychiatric center, where he stayed three months. When he returned home, he attended an alternative school in a neighboring school district. The next summer Mark experienced a second major psychosis and was hospitalized at the youth psychiatric center for another four months.

The bills mounted as it was determined that Mark suffered psychotic episodes and hallucinations. The young parents were told by a social worker that Mark needed more help than he could get at home and he would have to spend his life in various residences and treatment facilities. At the times he was home, his parents took turns sleeping on a mattress in his bedroom. Now his parents were experiencing isolation, feeling there was no one they could talk to.

Mark's mother and dad frantically reached out, calling social service agencies to determine where they could get help. Finally, the family was connected with a Social Worker, Dave Pettit, who turned their lives around. They came to understand the losses Mark dealt with: The loss of a profession, college, his own family, being able to afford a house, being allowed to drive and a life style. It is not uncommon for these losses to occur. When the losses are not identified they are experienced as a general sense of dis-ease in the whole family.

For years, Mark lived in "residences" and found work in sheltered workshops. These were hard times as the workshops served people from the severely mentally retarded to high functioning mentally ill. Frank worked diligently but still experienced the isolation -- the being different. In addition to the problems that he faced daily, Mark was also diagnosed with testicular cancer and underwent extensive treatment for this problem.

As time went on, Mark became more at home in his environment. People worked with him to improve his living conditions and his personal pride in his grooming. Mark now has a good job at Goodwill in Maintenance and feels satisfied. Job coaches helped him to acclimate and he is supported and appreciated by his boss. His wages rose from $2.00 per hour at the sheltered workshop to $7.00 at Goodwill. Mark considers himself a "wealthy man." Now he is saving money for a wilderness experience to further build his independence. He and his friend Charlie bike, hike and fish and celebrate each other's birthdays. They have been embraced by each others families and with their extended families, experience vacations and get-togethers.

The road is not smooth. Changes come day to day and recently Mark has experienced a manic-depressive episode. Each time there is an incident, the net of support is strong enough to catch him and he works assiduously to maintain balance. One Thanksgiving Day at St. Joan, when people were invited to give thanks, Mark took the microphone to express his gratitude for the support he has known and the good things in his life. He says of his illness, "This is a frustrating illness, a life-altering illness, but I'm coping with it as best I can."

Ronnie Angelus says: "There are three things that make my life work: Talking to my daughter who opens vistas to me and makes me laugh; being in the circle of the Divas, my writing group, who shout "go girl" and give me standing ovations with their smiles and tears; sitting next to Mary and Claude Paradis during Sunday Mass at St. Joan of Arc, which is as close to pure goodness as I will know in this lifetime."

And how about the family? Well, his sisters have always been his strongest supporters and have helped him to have a social life. The family had some good vacations and there were good times in Scouts. Mark's three sisters have gone on to college and have careers. They are raising families and their children are a light in all of the families' lives. Their Dad has been a deeply caring reliable figure in the family dramas. The Mom's career was in nursing. She now exercises four times a week, does oil painting, co-chairs Befrienders and lives a good life. The dad had a satisfying career as an Engineer, and best of all; they have had a happy marriage. She says their love story in ongoing. They sit on their deck in the evening, have a martini together, and share their days and times, talk about their children and their five grandchildren, (six in September). "We're a good team," she says. "He does the numbers and I do the social planning -- so we work very well together.

Families of the mentally ill live in hope. They are always ready to cheer at the triumphs, however small, to weep, to be concerned, to reach out for yet another resource, another answer, another way to support the people they love during the times when the road is bumpy.

Mark's story is also his family's story: a story of travail and triumph, as they all are -all the stories of the voiceless who are asking for their voices to be heard.