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April 2006 MIM Meeting
Note: The monthly Mental Illness Ministry meetings often feature a guest speaker who shares on an aspect of mental illness. This month we were treated to the personal story of Andrew Gadtke. The MIM meetings are held the second Monday of the month from 7-9 pm in Hospitality Hall. The next month's meeting is listed in greater detail in the Sunday Bulletin. Everyone is welcome.
Andrew Gadtke is a 25 year old man with a personal story to share. Andrew began to develop paranoid schizophrenia at age 20, a not uncommon age for the disease to appear. Gadtke spoke before the St. Joan of Arc Mental Health Ministry on April 10. As the men and women gathered around the lectern in Hospitality Hall, a neat, well-dressed, and mannerly young man appeared before them. Although his voice and facial expressions suggested a calm confidence, the audience would later learn that public speaking is difficult for him.
Andrew Gadtke’s Story
Andrew Gadtke graduated first in his class at Wayzata High School. Afterward, he attended the prestigious California Institute of Technology where he studied physical science. In the summer of 2000 he participated in a research program at the University of Minnesota. Funded by the National Science Foundation, the program paired students with faculty members to conduct a research project. Later, Gadtke also participated in cancer research.
With a bright future opening before him, this young man had no idea the challenges that would soon appear. In the months ahead, his first psychotic episode manifested with symptoms of paranoia and delusions. As the symptoms worsened, Gadtke became convinced that a team of CIA spies were following him. He began taking long circuitous routes to each destination – class, home, the library, and social events. Short trips became increasingly longer, adding several hours of travel time to his schedule.
Gradually, he retreated to his dorm room. Barricaded inside, he left only to go to the bathroom or to retrieve food. Still fearing for his life, he was suspicious that his own mother was a spy when she came to take him home from school. Once home, his parents sought ways to get their son to see a doctor. Eventually, they convinced him to see a psychiatrist by telling him that he would be assessed for depression.
At this point, Gadtke had no idea that his fears were paranoid delusions. In his mind and in the minds of others with psychotic symptoms, the delusions are as real as the auditory and visual hallucinations that often accompany them. After consultation, the psychiatrist gave no diagnosis, but placed Gadtke on medication. He was expecting to receive anti-depressants for his supposed depression, but left the office with anti-psychotics instead.
Later, Gadtke switched doctors, convinced that the psychiatrist was a Russian spy. The new psychiatrist placed him on a higher dosage of anti-psychotic medication. Over time, he improved and attended the University of Minnesota. While a student he dated and fell in love with his girlfriend. Life looked increasingly better as some happiness returned.
Uncertain of an official diagnosis, Gadtke assumed that he’d recovered from his mental health problem. In December 2003 he stopped taking all of his medications. The symptoms gradually returned. Each time he returned home from a public outing, he diligently searched his apartment for assassins that he felt certain were waiting to kill him. He grew suspicious of everyone. At some point he came to believe that his upstairs neighbor was a CIA spy.
His auditory and visual hallucinations became more intense. Monsters came out of the ceiling, frightening him. The bathroom fan communicated messages to him. As his symptoms became more complex and severe, Gadtke's girlfriend, before leaving him, convinced him to see a psychiatrist.
When he did so, Gadtke learned his true diagnosis. Living with his parents again, he underwent several trials with different medications. It took some time to find the right combination and dosage to treat him. During this time, Gadtke experienced what psychiatrists characterize as the negative or deficit symptoms of schizophrenia. These symptoms include social withdrawal, apathy, poor hygiene, diminished emotional responses and cognitive difficulties.
The recovery from this second episode of his illness took some time. Throughout the process, Gadtke's life became passages of time with days organized around established routines. Upon awakening around 1:00 PM, he walked to the kitchen and searched the pantry for food. He always selected something that he could open and eat cold, directly from the container. To remove it from the container and heat it required more energy than he could muster.
Each week on shower day, he entered the bathroom after lunch. There he sat for several hours, trying to develop enough motivation to bathe. Afterward, he sat in a chair in the living room and stared out the window. Incredibly bored, he thought of the many alternatives - activities such as going for a walk, seeing a movie or reading a book. Unfortunately for Gadtke, the thoughts remained thoughts that he could not transform into activity.
In the evenings, he had dinner with his family. Afterward, he paced around the living room or sat and stared out the window again. A couple of hours later, he returned to his bedroom, paced some more and listened to music until around 2:00 AM.
While lying in bed, intense visual hallucinations occurred. In one, he saw a figure that he presumed to be Jesus moving away from him. For Gadtke, it seemed as though Jesus was leaving his life. When a demon appeared in the place of Jesus, Gadtke grew terrified, closed his eyes and prayed. When he dared to open his eyes again, the demon was gone. Jesus stood at the foot of his bed and several angels appeared overhead.
Eventually, Gadtke improved. Unfortunately, he was never able to complete college. Currently, he lives with his parents in their Edina home. In speaking to the audience, he made a point of crediting his parents for allowing him time to heal. They continue to support him by allowing him time to try and establish a career. Since he can no longer understand the very research that he’d conducted a few years ago, a career change proved imminent.
His new goal is to be a writer. Currently, he has two works in progress. One is a book about his illness. The other is a Christian romance novel. In addition to his writing, Gadtke is on the Board of Directors for the Barbara Schneider Foundation (www.barbaraschneiderfoundation.org). He also speaks to police officers in the Minneapolis Police Department CIT (Crisis Intervention Training) program.
In describing his life, Gadtke said, "Even though I found the right medications for me now, the medications do not take away all the symptoms. I still have low level voices, paranoia, and negative symptoms.... With time and the right medications, I've become transformed into the person you see before you today."
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