"Mother's Day"
Deb Harley
Sunday, May 13th 2007

Good Morning
I am honored to speak on this beautiful Mother’s Day.

My husband and I have been members at St. Joan’s for 23 yrs., and you’ve probably seen me singing up here with my buddies for the last several years, but stepping up here to speak this morning is a different challenge for me, and I have to admit I’m a little nervous. But… today, I get to talk about 3 of my favorite subjects: Children, Motherhood and Peacemaking.

I’ll begin with Children: I have 2 grown daughters; Claire is 22 and graduates from college next weekend, she lives in Madison, Wisconsin. Laura is 19, and studying to be a make-up artist in Los Angeles. Which means that for the first time in 22 yrs. my husband Steve and I have the house to ourselves.

It’s a big adjustment. ..There’s something about this time in my life that has me missing my babies, and remembering every little thing I loved about hanging out w/ my kids, and also reflecting on what I love about children in general.

I love their open faces that say, “I’m here, see me?” Kids are trusting, and honest, sometimes brutal in their honesty, true, but more than once my daughters have set me straight when they knew I was overreacting to something. They come right out and say,”Mom…own it, this ones yours”

Kids are curious: I remember the ..why why why?? Help me understand? You can just feel their brains growing. Claire wanted to know why the sky was blue. Laura wanted to know what it felt like to shove a kidney bean up her nose.

They’re amazed by the littlest things. I’ve seen kids just standing watching the water trickle out of a hose for the longest time. They seem to be particularly amazed by the way their fingers feel up their nose …or up your nose.

Kids get excited about everything. I remember my babies getting excited by how many times they could knock the cup off of the high-chair tray and watch mommy pick it up, Or that excitement that drives little girls to scream with their girlfriends at a pitch and decibel level that could shatter glass.

Children forgive easily. They Love unconditionally They’re adaptable and accepting, and their colorblind. They’re turned on by our differences, and just want to learn more, they don’t have any judgments yet.

Children have huge hearts and great compassion, even at a young age I remember there was a day my daughter came home from school upset because the kids on the bus were making fun of a 4th grade girl, calling her fat. My daughter said she went and sat next to this girl, told her she wasn’t fat, and to just ignore what these kids were saying. Laura was only 5 yrs. old.

Children are bear hugs and kissing games, dirty faces and little good smelling heads.

They’re funny and creative, and incredibly entertaining. I figure my husband Steve and I have watched about 2,704 shows performed by our girls…and these are just the shows at home. Song and dance #’s, puppet shows, video clips… Claire cart wheeled everywhere she went for a year. And then walked on tip-toes for another year. You name it….we saw it! I miss those shows.

Kids have big emotions…..everything shows. Big alligator tears on little faces. I think they only hold them back when they’re told to.

Children are full of spirit. I think a child is as close to God as we can get here on Earth. These aren’t just characteristics of my children. This is what I see in children wherever I go. And I’m sure that every mother, when asked, from any community, in any city, state or country could come up with a “love list” about children that would look very much the same as mine. All our precious innocents….

This leads me to my 2nd topic, “motherhood.” The women responsible for birthing these little beauties into existence. When I speak of Mother’s today, I’m speaking of Motherhood in all it’s many forms. I’m speaking about all women, because we all carry the mother creative force in our bodies.

So how was I initiated into the world of motherhood? I grew up in a Scottish Irish Catholic family. The 4th child of 8, in So. Calif. during the fantastic and tumultuous 60’s. How my mother survived 4 teens who were anxious to experience the entire cultural revolution and have another 4 young ones to care for too? I’ll never know.

As crazy as those times got for our family, we always knew our mom was right beside us, loving us, she was the glue that held us all together. I have a wonderful mother and I love her deeply.

I asked several friends to write a few words describing what a mother is to them. I’d like to read you some of what I received……

• A mother is a foundation
• The source of life
• A selfless provider
• A mother is love
• Moms are people who have been given a special intuitive knack to find the good and positive when their rational brain wants to scream ,”are you an idiot?”
• Moms know the next hug will do a lot more than the next lecture
• More than anything I remember my mom’s strength. She could do anything!
• My mom had a wonderful sense of humor
• I think of my mom’s all-knowing twinkle, her kindness, generosity, and desire to protect her kids.
• Mothers will always love you, even when you don’t love yourself
• Mom always made the hurt go away.
• Moms have the loving and nurturing side, and the instincts that can tame the darkest of human impulses
• Mom is my friend and I respect her
• A mother is the person you run every decision by
• A mom is an ambassador of compassion.. she’s a critic, a poet, a teacher and a hugger
• When we are the ones to throw in the towel, she simply picks it up, washes it, and hands it back to us
• A mother is conscientious and strong, a beautiful mystery
• I finally realized when I had a daughter, that my mother was the greatest woman in the world, w/ an endurance and strength unmatched by anyone else out there
• A friend that’s a new mom writes: When your not thinking about how often your little one chooses fruit snacks over vegetables, your breaking your heart worrying and dreaming about them
• A mother is empathic and a communicator
• A mother knows and finally……..
• A mother is warm love, and gentle guidance, and has the strength of a bear!

Later that night, as I said goodbye to Laura, she was flooded with tears, and I just held her. This time, she needed me to be strong… the mother bear. I had no tears until she was out of site.

I would imagine that everyone agree’s that all children are precious, and it is our honor and duty to protect them. And it seems that most people experience mothers /women as compassionate, loving and strong.

I’m happy to tell stories this morning, and remind you of why we love children, and why there should be a special day honoring mothers, but I want to get to how this all ties into my 3rd topic….peacemaking, and why I believe women are the ones who we’ve been waiting for to create a world of peace.

As some of you know the 1st Mothers Day was created by a woman named Julia Ward Howewho wrote a Mother’s Day proclamation. It was a proposal to bring women of all nationalities together to bring peace to humanity.

Howe had seen the horrors and devastation of the civil war, and saw war rise again in Europe. She was calling women to gather, to take counsel w/ each other, and find a way to bring peace to the world.

Matthew Arnold a famous 19th century poet and critic wrote: “If ever comes a time when the women of the world come together purely and simply for the benefit of humankind, it will be a source such as the world has never seen.”

Jean Shinoda Bolen writes in her book, An Urgent Message From Mother, “ Maternal concern is an untapped feminine force that the world needs to balance and transform aggression.”

How many times throughout the Bible are we called to be peacemakers?

In today’s Gospel, John writes that Jesus said, “whoever loves me will keep my word. and… “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you.”

We have all been called by Jesus to live a life of love, peace and forgiveness.

Women of strength and courage came together and after 70 yrs. gained the right to vote. Women of strength and courage came together and created a shift in consciousness worldwide, and laws and common practices that supported the premise that women were inferior changed!

More than half of the world’s children of more than 1 billion suffer extreme deprivation because of war, poverty and HIV/Aids. Why isn’t that enough to get people to stop what their doing, and gather together, and come up with peaceful solutions to make this world safe for children? And not a peace that’s just the absence of war, but safety and security for children inside as well as outside of their homes.

To paraphrase Jean Bolen, “our daughters and sons are returning from war bearing little resemblance to who they could have been in a world at peace.”

And I say… that too many of our daughters and sons are leaving their homes bearing little resemblance to who they could have been in a family at peace.

What can’t be done by men……can be done by women …..together.

Women/Mothers…you are the half of humanity more likely to hear the cries of the children. Please, come together now…join your spirits, and be a force for peace.

I wish you all a very happy and peaceful Mother’s Day. Thank you