"Homelessness, the Top of the Iceberg"
Margaret Lovejoy
Sunday, January 1st 2006
"Homelessness, the Top of the Iceberg"
Margaret Lovejoy
Sunday, January 1st 2006
If home is where the heart is, are those who are without a home tonight heartless? Are those women who lack a home or receive Aid for Families with Dependent Children the “new prostitutes,” as Stephanie Golden suggested? Why do so many of these women not have male partners? Are they bad, irresponsible, or neglectful lovers, spouses or parents? What did they do to deserve such a fate? Are they lacking family values? Are their mates irresponsible bums?
And what about the children? How does a mother respond to a child who asks if she should call the shelter in which they are huddled, “home”? What does a shelter worker say to a child when she asks, “which shelter do you stay in?” How do we explain society’s pro-family ideology to children who are living in shelters? What words do we use to convince children living in poverty that their society reveres children and the family above all else? How do we reconcile this land of opportunity with a nation in which 5 million children go hungry every day? How can we defend the fact that children are the poorest group of citizens in this country – so poor that 44 percent of poor children live in families whose income is less than half the official poverty level? Can we, as a society live with this fact that today the United States contains more poor children than in any year since 1965?
A reading from the book of Numbers: Chapter 6 Verses 22-27
Yahweh said to Moses: “Speak to Aaron and his children and tell them: This is how you shall bless the Israelites. Say to them:
Greetings, Happy New Year and God’s peace and joy for you today, tomorrow, throughout the year and all the days of your life. Good morning, I am Margaret Lovejoy the founder and executive director of The Family Place; a day center in St. Paul that provides for the most immediate needs of families living without permanent housing.
From the first reading if indeed you believe home is where the heart is how would you feel if today when you walked outside you had no home, no financial resources, more than likely no transportation, inadequate clothing to keep you warm and your network of family and friends was lost you would hear the words from the reading from a very different perspective When we, as a community talk about homelessness, most often we only talk about what is seen.
Homelessness is the top of the iceberg.
We’ve all seen the National Geographic like pictures of an iceberg. Beautiful white snow and ice mountains floating on the water. In our mind’s eye we imagine it drifting along an icy cold sea. But we have been warned that we see only a small portion of the actual berg. We know what happened to the Titanic after it hit an iceberg in the North Sea, within a short time it sunk killing passengers and crew members. This ship was a master of modern design and technology, it would not sink. The reality of icebergs had not been fitted into the equation.
Homelessness is similar to this iceberg scenario. Looking from afar we see only the results not the issues, nor the reasons. Through many of our eyes the issues surrounding homelessness can be summed up in human error; the homeless person did not equip himself or herself to meet the world. From our distant safe vantage point we can easily blame the victims of homelessness. We can blame a male for getting in trouble with the law resulting in a felony on his record making it difficult to get employment and housing. We could also blame the female for having children, not having a high school diploma or GED or post secondary training.
As a community of the majority we blame the individual for being homeless. As the majority we want increasingly higher rents, basic necessities become burdensome. Through the bureaucratic nature of the community public and private transportation costs increase, food and energy costs increase. As the community of the majority we make rules and regulations regarding appropriate space needs for families. There are those who want to live in safe, walled off communities. And as community members living with abundance we tend to separate ourselves from those who can barely meet their basic needs. When community is separated there is a loss of synergy and it becomes less likely that as a community of people we are able to learn from each other the value or substance of each other’s lives.
But how is it we can blame the children? 85% of the clients I serve are children, ranging in age from 2 days to 20 years of age they did not wake up in the morning and tell their parents they wanted to be homeless, yet they are.
The Family Place was designed with the needs of the children foremost in my thoughts. I woke up six years ago and knew a day center for families was needed. Actually it was not my intension to start it. I talked to my peers and social services agencies about the concept of a safe day time space for families, they all thought it was a good idea and a the kind of programming that was needed in Ramsey County, but they did not want to create this service for families. I asked God for direction and God directed me inward. I cried out much like the prophet Jeremiah called out to God : “I do not know how to speak, for I am just a child.”
This was after God had said to Jeremiah : “before you were born you were set apart”.
Now I am not saying that I was set apart but what I did say to God, I can’t do that, I do not know how! God heard me and looked straight into the depths of my spirit. Then God placed my feet on the road to create this day center. Many nights and days I cried out to God that it was a huge undertaking, my energy resources were drained just thinking about the task at hand. I knew God would be with me, I was not alone, but it was hard work. The Family Place opened its doors on October 17th, 2001.
A few weeks ago a Confirmation class toured the facility. At the end of the tour a young woman asked if they would be able to meet or see some homeless families. I was puzzled because when we walked down the hall I stopped and spoke to a mother with a child that were staying with us; they were homeless. The comment I often hear from visitors is “they don’t look homeless.” In a round about way that is what the young woman was saying to me, while on the tour of our program and building, she had not seen anyone that met her perception of what homelessness looks like.
In over the ten years I have been working with homeless families I have not been able to say what homelessness looks like, except it has all the faces, spirits and emotions of the community. The difference is the families I work with do not have home, they have heart, they care for their children and their mates, they like or dislikes family and friends, they wear or don’t wear name brand clothing, they drink milk or are allergic to milk products, they laugh and cry, but most important they want a home a place of stability a place to live and they want to be accepted by the community.
What can you do?
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