 | | Ken Sholes is an occasional visitor to St. Joan of Arc and www.stjoan.com. His story tell about an aspect of GLBT pain that we don't hear about often. |
"Wherever you are on your journey"
I was disappointed that I would miss Mel White's message at St. Joan of
Arc
as I was going to be out of town on the Sunday that he would be visiting.
My name is Ken Sholes and I've only been to St. Joan of Arc Catholic
Church
about six times. I was raised a Catholic and went to St. Clement's Church
in NE
Minneapolis, but I dropped out of church for about thirty years after
leaving
Minneapolis to join the Navy in 1968.
After serving in such faraway places as Da Nang, South Vietnam and
Asmara, Ethiopia (now Asmara, Eritrea), I came back to the US and
was stationed in Dam Neck, Virginia. At my last duty station I came out as
a gay male to a superior and was subsequently discharged.
I started going back to church about 3 years ago. I had always enjoyed
attending "stations of the cross" and went to the Basilica of St Mary's and
other churches in the area. (I enjoy the physical journey and the
participation
of singing.)
I eventually joined All God's Children MCC Church as a member. The
Universal Fellowship of Metropolitan Community Churches begin in the
late 1960's as an alternative place to worship for gays, lesbians,
bisexuals, and transgendered who want a spiritual journey.
While attending AGC-MCC, I heard repeatedly about St.Joan of Arc
from members of SJA who attended AGC occasionally with their friends.
So, I decided to check the 11 am service when I got up too late one morning
to late to attend AGC's 10 am service.
I got to SJA a little after 11 am and had a devil of a time finding a
parking spot.
Then, I walked to the sanctuary where there was NO ONE? There has to be
some kind of service going on what with all the cars parked in the blocks
surrounding the church. Where is it?
Prayers are sometimes quickly answered. Two lesbians that I had met at a
Lynx
game were walking towards St. Joan's as I, mystified, was leaving. They
brought
me to the gym where I attended my first SJA service.
At one of the services I attended I even noticed a mirrored ball hanging
from the
ceiling of the gym. Well, I thought, any gay male has to feel welcome in a
church
with a mirrored ball hanging from the ceiling.
Recently, because I found myself feeling the war with Iraq was unnecessary
and
unwarranted, I attended SJA several times. I prayed that some way would be
found to avoid the impasse our government had found itself with the
government
of Iraq which seemed to be leading to hostilities (war). Although I felt
that there
was little chance of this happening, I felt great solace in being among
those who
held similar thoughts and beliefs
I would have missed Mel White as I was attending a gay veterans convention
in
San Antonio, Texas.
While I feel anguish over the silencing of Mel White, it is nothing when
compared to
the anguish I have felt over the current "Dont' Ask, Don't Tell" policy
that governs
the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered servicemembers who defend our
nation.
What is "Don't Tell" if not a form of silencing.
At the convention Patricia Kutteles told of her son who was harassed for
months
at Fort Campbell, Kentucky. Because he was perceived to be gay, his
complaints
were ignored by his command. Then, a little after midnight on July 5, 1999,
Barry
Winchell, Patricia's son, was brutally murdered as Private Calvin Glover
hit Winchell
with a baseball bat while he was sleeping. This, too, was silencing.
And so, I grieve every day at the mistreatment of our GLBT men and woman
who
serve a country that doesn't do much to either protect or serve their
needs. I grieve
that so many are harassed or fired solely because someone thinks someone
is gay or lesbian. I grieve that there may be another Barry who dies from
hatred.
Imagine worrying about what you may say and to whom. The wrong word to the
wrong person and you've jeopardized your career. This is the silencing or
the
"don't tell" portion of "don't ask, don't tell." Even telling someone like
a chaplain
has led to the firing of gay and lesbian military personnel.
"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" didn't get rid of the ban against open
homosexuality in the
military. All it did was codify what already existed. Before this policy
you could serve
if you neither told the military you were gay or lesbian OR if the military
didn't ask you.
Contrary to popular belief, this policy affects all of us. Homophobia is
reaffirmed
for the heterosexual who fears those who are different. Good gay and
lesbian
military personnel are either terminated for their sexual orientation or
choose to
leave early to avoid a harrassing environment. We, as citizens, participate
in
a discrimination that we would not sanction in other organizations because
of
apathy or because we are not affected by it or, for some, because we
don't approve of the military as we equate it with war.
And so, all members of SJA who are American citizens are to some extent
responsible for this heinous policy. If I could speak to the congregation I
would
ask one thing: What, if anything, have you done to end the ban against open
homosexuality in the military?
And Mel White is silenced.
| 
Editor's Note: When the Archbishop forbad the Reverend Mel White from giving the March 30th homily at St. Joan's many parishioners were offended. Reactions ranged from anger to sorrow to devastation. The website received numerous complaints and comments. Out of respect for Fr. George, we held off publishing them until he had a chance to give his response to the parish. Fr. George's response can be seen in his March 30th homily. We offer a few of the reactions to the goings on of the week. If you would like to submit your thoughts for consideration on this page, send them via email to the webmaster.
