First Reconciliation

Not having grown up Catholic, what I “knew” about Catholic traditions was second-hand information, filtered mainly through Catholic friends, Baptist Sunday School teachers, and my grandfather who had left a pre-Vatican Two Catholic Church.

While inhaling the fragrance of potatoes, gravy, green beans, and pork chops at the annual rural Catholic Church dinner my family attended, we would wait for food outside the latticed confessionals vying for the few lonely folding chairs.

“Why do they have so many closets?” I asked. My sister started to open the confessional door. “Stop,” said my mother, holding up her “V” peace sign, meaning the discussion had ended until we were home.

Like most second-hand information, my take wasn’t exactly on target (and it certainly wasn’t akin to St. Joan’s and current Catholic Church practices). What I knew was that Catholics had to tell a priest everything they did wrong and only he could forgive them for the sin. The closets where Catholics talked to priests looked dark and scary. Fortunately, we were Protestants which meant that we could pray directly to God and be forgiven.

And even though, as an adult, I’m aware that essentially all Christians believe they pray directly to God, I’m still surprised by the brightness of the SJA Church on March 10. Sun illuminates through the stained-glass windows, ceiling lights glisten, candles surrounding the Cross twinkle, even the wood in the floor and ceiling bubbles with light.

Two groups of children celebrated First Reconciliation, March 10 and 24. Although most of the 75 participants are in fourth grade, some like my daughter, Genesis, are slightly older. In addition to preparing for the sacrament by reading and reflection, each child was given a candle. Instead of merely being angry, yelling or sulking, each was invited to light the candle with family members and “talk through” a problem if there was a disagreement in the home.

“The role of family and forgiveness is central to First Reconciliation,” said Kathy Itzin, Director of Elementary Religious Education and Sacraments. Kathy explained how Reconciliation had evolved, not just at St. Joan of Arc, but at most Catholic Churches. Conversation, questions and dialogue weren’t merely welcomed, but essential to the Reconciliation process.

When asked why Reconciliation was done after First Communion, instead of before, she stated that change was very widespread in the US. “If you think about it, most children are baptized as babies, so their first real experience of a sacrament was having to go and tell a priest what they’d ‘done wrong.’ No matter what you do to create a positive experience, it’s still a hard sacrament for kids, so having them ‘start’ the sacraments with First Communion seemed like a much more positive way to build a relationship with the Church.”

Tom Smith-Myott, SJA Adult Formation Director(right), commented, “I think the Church came to realize that fourth graders have a deeper cognitive level of understanding about the idea of reconciliation than they do in second grade [when most children take First Communion].”

“The Church started to move away from the idea of confession and absolution probably about the time of Vatican Two,“ said Tom. “For a while, it talked about ‘penance’ or punishment for your sins. And now, we talk in terms of ‘reconciliation.’” He added that there was a greater emphasis placed on not only what each individual could do to reconcile, but what we as a society need to do to reconcile with the world.

Prior to the sacrament, each candidate was asked to think of a few things that “you’re working on as a Christian.” During the service, God’s presence in everyone’s life and the importance of individual prayer was emphasized.

“On our own it’s easy to think, ‘I’ve done something wrong or I’m a bad person.’ With Reconciliation, we’re reminded of our gifts and goodness,” said Fr. Jim Cassidy.

Kari Fisher and her three children joined St. Joan of Arc in 2005. Kari teaches English at Normandale Community College. A former Catholic Worker, she will be making her Profession of Faith this Easter at St. Joan’s.

Parents were invited up to bring their children to one of the Father Jim’s sitting towards the front of the church. After a quick introduction, the parents returned to their seats while their son and daughter talked. When they had finished, each child was given a blessing and a cross. After the service, there was a reception in honor of the candidates.

Richard Fisher retired from his career in social work last June. He and his wife Phyllis live on the site of her grandparents' farm in Lewisville, Minnesota. They are involved with the First Presbyterian Church in St. James, sustainable agriculture issues, and bluegrass music fans. When not doting on one of their six grandchildren, Dick has been known to be roped into various projects for his daughter, Kari.