The second annual Christmas party of the Mental Illness Ministry was in full swing. Until the insistent rhythm of the tribal drum called the people to gather.

This was a special night for more than just the party. This was the night a panel of Pursuers of Wellness, the real experts because of their personal knowledge of brain disorders, were going to speak. As the people found their seats, Theresa Dolata continued playing the drum and spoke an opening prayer/meditation she had written.

Thump, thump, thump beats the radiant heart.

It pulsates through our feet, legs, arms, hands, chest

Even our face pulsates to the breath of the heart

Let our mind pulsate to the same beat of the

            drum and body.

Let our spirits be cleansed of negative thoughts and

           replenished with positive ones.

Thump, Thump. Thump beats the radiant heart.

Francis Mark, a member of the MIM Task Force led off with a theme that was repeated often during the evening – “Help me feel safe.” Listen to me - you don’t have to have any answers – it’s better if you don’t. Just listen to me.”

Francis described a 28 year history of immobilizing and recurring depressions. When people said, “Just pick yourself up, go to work, shape up and take a shower, take a walk” – they described all the things he couldn’t do. He was too afraid, facing fear on a paralyzing level. “Quit complaining, quit crying like a child – you’re an adult.” Words cut through him lancing turbulent emotions.

Words also could help. “Anything I can do to help? I love you. I don’t know what you’re going through but I can listen.” A voice telling him he is a “valuable human being” heals. Francis says, “If I say I have to go to the hospital – please support me.” He cited examples of people who held his hand, who reached out with quiet strength when he was in pain and helped him to more forward with confidence. He believes that it is important to give back to the world for the good it has given him and inspires him to be a part of community organization, to offer his strength to others when he is able.

MIM members Mary White, Rosie Rogers, Mary Paradis, Gene Sylvestre and Ronnie Angelus

Donna Draves, is an activist who speaks regularly to groups and has authored a ‘booklet’, Kicking and Resting, about her illness and the steps of her recovery. During the acute stages of her illness her reasoning and judgment were impaired. The kindness of a doctor, a priest and her brother-in-law helped her regain confidence in herself. Her sister believed in her and eventually arranged for her to begin her public speaking.

Donna spoke of the stultifying effect of people trying to do too much. She spoke of a relative who became so involved in Donna’s illness that she lost her own health. The most helpful thing, Donna says, is if you take good care of yourself and trust her to be responsible for herself. “Don’t try to fix me like I’m broken.” Remember, “It’s OK to say no to me.” “Be respectful to me.” “Don’t get more involved than you want to.” “Go easy and enjoy!” She encouraged others to know they had responsibility and authority to find the best health care, the best psychiatrist, particularly one who evaluates medicines regularly and accommodates specific needs. “There is a wide range of choice in pills available.” A therapist helped her trust herself, a sister believed in her and encouraged her to speak, a life coach has been a companion and support on her journey. She went to MacPhail where she played guitar and instructors encouraged her to compose music from the heart. She is on a crusade; she sets a goal each year to speak at a certain number of churches, anywhere she can spread the word about illness, brain disorders and recovery.

Theresa Dolata said, “I have experienced mental illness since I was 5 years old.” In that time, “it wasn’t something talked about.” “I felt alone to begin with and it didn’t help to have people say – you’re different, you’re not normal.” “The more the illness runs in cycles, the worse it gets.” It didn’t help, when as a freshman in high school she was hospitalized. Afterwards in meetings with physicians and others, people spoke to one another as though she wasn’t in the room. It didn’t help when people were more concerned with the financial aspects than finding the best care. Comments that suggested life would be better were it not “for the money we have to spend on your medications.” She started watching her meds, and wouldn’t take them if she was feeling pretty good. “Being well was really a struggle. When she said “I feel bad” the only response was “Have you taken your medicine?”

Panelists Gretchen Alexis, Francis Mark, Donna Draves and Theresa Dolata

Theresa appreciated it when people were educated about what mental illness is, when they validate her thoughts, when they were supportive, when they don’t try to fix it all, when they understand I am doing the best I can.” ( Note: You can read Theresa’s full story and her accomplishments on stjoan.com in the series Hear My Voice.)

Gretchen Alexis said “It is a process and it can take a very long time.” For instance, it took me 14 years to find a psychiatrist with whom I felt really comfortable.” Gretchen believes it is not only about medication, but about being attentive to the body, mind and spirit connection. She uses music, body movement routines, reading, inspirational books and ideas which she incorporates into her life. “Body movement keeps me centered.” Her source of strength is faith, being involved in St. Joan’s collaborative ministry, finding new friends to replace those who left her. Gretchen believes in being pro-active, working on her own behalf. She has had a life coach who has been at her side and currently is helping her sort out the results of her latest “shopping spree.” Gretchen is aware that shopping makes her feel better and also is aware of the resultant clutter which has been an obstacle for her.

Gretchen smiled when she said,” I need a lot of attention.” She says being loved and cared for and comfortable give her peace. A new psychiatrist who paid close attention to her medical regime has helped her enormously. This psychiatrist has started her on a new regimen of medication.. The message is clear – don’t be afraid to make a firm stand in your own behalf. Her mantra is “Celebrate the joy in life.” (Note: Gretchen’s story can be found on stjoan.com in the series, Hear My Voice.)

and

Ronnie Angelus says: "There are three things that make my life work: Talking to my daughter who opens vistas to me and makes me laugh; being in the circle of the Divas, my writing group, who shout "go girl" and give me standing ovations with their smiles and tears; sitting next to Mary and Claude Paradis during Sunday Mass at St. Joan of Arc, which is as close to pure goodness as I will know in this lifetime."

These warriors who continue to be productive, closely involved in the collaborative ministries of St. Joan of Arc, face their illness and courageously stand up and say – look at me. If you’re afraid, tell me. I’ve been there. I know the struggles. I’m here to listen. And with one voice they say – “Help us remove the stigma attached to mental illness. That is our hope.”

Rita Nohner is a long-time parishioner of SJA and considers St. Joan of Arc her spiritual home. She enjoys being involved in the Bible Study, Soup Suppers, Team Oz and international ministries. Rita's passions are traveling and photography. She and her husband Jeff have a small photography and video business which keeps them both very busy. She can be reached at rita@lifeimagellc.com.