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On Saturday June 10th, at the Field Regina Northrop Neighborhood Group’s Parade and Family Fun Day, I experienced an extreme range of emotions. During the 3 hour event my feelings went from pleasure and joy, as I watched a diverse group of people enjoying a cool Saturday morning, to feelings of loss, fear, and hopelessness.
The initial plan was for me to attend this event solo because I wanted to take copious notes and meaningful pictures for my first feature story as an SJA webreporter. The children would go with my husband, Brad, who was moving furniture out of his recently deceased grandmother’s house. As I walked out the door my daughter, Kate, sat behind the glass door holding her shoes and crying. And my son, Bradley, continuously asked “Why are you leaving me,” as tears welled up in his eyes. Needless to say, plans changed and the kids and I were soon traveling north on Cedar in search of Chicago and 46th.
We arrived 5 minutes late after driving 23 streets past the park and making a phone call to a friend in the neighborhood for directions. We parked close and wheeled the wagon to the corner of 46th and Chicago. As the parade traveled past I enjoyed seeing the fire truck lights, Girl Scout Troops, and the attentive children filling their pockets with candy handed or tossed by the parade participants. I especially enjoyed the drum lines that would occasionally stop and perform. The deep beat of the bass and syncopation of the snare, accompanied with the energy and practiced routines from the members elicited loud claps from the sparse crowd. I was unpleasantly surprised to see 4 or 5 aspiring candidates handing out pamphlets and handshakes months before the November elections. I gladly took a sticker so my daughter could wrap up her orange "Starburst" that she didn’t care for so we could dispose of it later.
We then made our way to McRae Park where the family fun activities were. The loud generator pumping up the “Jumper” caught Bradley’s eye. We started standing in line for a turn then realized that we needed to buy tickets; the money, I believe going to McCrae Area Recreational Council (MARC). The ticket line was long so we headed to the playground. After 20 minutes of play, Kate wanted to swing. I lifted her up and shot a glance in Bradley’s way. I pushed Kate as she screamed with happiness and again looked in Bradley’s way, but he was gone. I scanned the slides, castles, and diggers, but I could not see the boy with the white turtle neck and black sweatpants. I quickly lifted Kate out of the swing, placed her in the wagon and began to walk towards the parking lot where the bean bag toss, bowling, and face painting areas were located. No Bradley. My walk became a frantic jog as I passed the portable stage where young dancers were getting ready to perform. One of the Parade/Fun Day organizers stopped me and asked if I was alright. The hysterical sobs began as I gave his name and a description of what he is wearing. I continued to walk around the playground the smell of the barbequed turkey legs and ribs filled my nose, the people a blur, and the carnival events spinning wildly around my head as I searched for Bradley. Next a man, then two women, and another man offered to help by looking and watching Kate so I could search for Bradley. I circled the grounds, came back to Kate and that is when the sobs really began. Just then a man, my hero, walked up with Bradley on his shoulders. I was not angry.
The remainder of the day consisted of root beer, hot dogs, pop corn and Jazz music. Before heading home with balloons in hand, the kids had their lead levels testing, jumped in the “jumper”, and watched a 20 ft. clown juggle plastic frogs. They were asleep before I closed the driver’s door.
Pride can be a good thing. The Field Regina Northrop Neighborhood obviously has pride in its community. Pride can also obscure more important values. I will never hold my pride and awareness of what others think of my “mothering” skills above the safety of my children.
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