The above paragraph in part, a quote from the website and the bulletin of St. Joan of Arc, gives us information we need to attend this function. I would like to tell the story of the experience of attending.

What I encountered on this beautiful fall evening in early November was certainly a celebration to remember loved ones who have died, but that was not the only reason that over 150 plus people walked into the lovely and welcoming ambiance of St. Joan’s Church. The intention of this service was to give all those present grieving the loss of a loved one, whether this past year or in the distant past, a chance to feel the support of a loving community. In my view and others to whom I spoke, that goal was accomplished.

Special attention was paid to those whose funerals were held at St. Joan’s this past year. Their names were read from a list during the service. Many of the grieving relatives and friends sat in anticipation of hearing that one name - which when spoken aloud - would force tears to the surface – again.

There is much written about the need for grieving and healing after the loss of a loved one. It is said that there is no right or wrong way to grieve. There is no deadline to adhere to for grieving. Healing does not mean the same as forgetting. The very memory of the loved one is a bridge to healing and healing means moving forward with life that has changed forever.

This was beautifully documented by two readings that melt one into the other. First we heard Joan Riebel reading Derek Walcott’s “A Blessed Rain”. The words describe rain in a cemetery and remembering many names of those who had died.

Next, Roger Dick’s reading of Dietrich Bonhoeffer’s “Nothing” told us of the underlying theme of the service – concerning the gaps left in us by those who have died. Bonhoeffer says:

“NOTHING can make up for the absence of someone we love – And it would be wrong to try to find a substitute. We must simply hold out and see it through – That sounds very hard at first but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap – as long as it remains unfilled – preserves the bond between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap – God does not fill it but, on the contrary, keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other even at the cost of pain.”

Their presence enriched our service by carving pumpkins in unique and creative ways with special crosses and designs coming out of their unique and beautiful culture and their celebration of their “Day of The Dead” annual festivity.

The Prayer Partners who planned this service tried to emulate in the best way they could what they remembered of the lovely carvings from last year. Many hours of thought and work went into this project- within-a-project and they are to be congratulated for their loving efforts as well as enhancing the ambiance.

The music, carefully chosen as always, lent itself to the spirit of the service with Anna Mae Vagle’s mellow recorder and voice along with Fred Vagle’s harmony and guitar. Filling in with depth and versatility was Nancy Stockhaus’ voice and piano talents.

It was particularly noticeable during the meditation upon hearing a longtime St. Joan favorite, “Ashokan Farewell” done instrumentally, showcasing how astoundingly talented our musicians are.

“Shall We Gather At The River” and “Try To Remember”, again encompassing the theme of the importance of remembering. “Come Fill Our Hearts With Your Peace” and “Simple Gifts” were sung with both sorrow and joy . The appropriate ending hymn was “Will the Circle Be Unbroken”.

The homily was replaced by a request that the people put on paper two thoughts and to share those thoughts with the congregation. They were asked to tell about a specific memory they treasured of their loved one and to describe the gift or legacy they have left for them.

Several people did respond and share their memories. Some were simple things such as remembering smells from grandma’s kitchen. It was a joy to hear of happy and even funny things that people remembered and how important it was for them to remember that about those loved ones.

The traditional candle ritual is always emotional as each person lines up to receive a slim candle and light it from the Paschal Candle and bring it forward to place in a large copper tub of sand. They then name the person or persons it represents. It is difficult to remain unemotionally detached while saying that precious name in a quiet room full of people with the sounds of soft music surrounding you.

The Eucharistic part of the mass was begun and Communion again brought those same lines forward to receive the body and blood of Christ. Concluding the service was the “Litany of Remembrance”, a familiar litany that St Joan uses at funerals and memorials. It begins:

“In the rising of the sun and its going down” and the spoken response is: We remember them”.

“So long as we live, they too shall live,
For they are part of us,
As we remember them.”

JoAnn Potts is a retired music and English teacher/choir director and 30 year member of St. Joan's. She enjoys volunteering to assist Anna Vagle with music tasks one day each week; singing in the choir; writing her memoirs and poetry; keeping up with friends and family via email; visiting the North Shore and entertaining friends. JoAnn and Jim, husband and wife team of 50 years, are proud of their family of five children and nine grandchildren. JoAnn can be reached at jpotts@mn.rr.com.

“…God does not fill it but, on the contrary, keeps it empty and so helps us to keep alive our former communion with each other even at the cost of pain.”

Rita Nohner is a long-time parishoner of SJA and consider St. Joans her spiritual home. She enjoys being involved in the BibleStudy, Soup Suppers, Team Oz and Arm in Arm in Africa. Rita's passions are traveling and photography - a handy combination. She is in the infant stages of creating her own business selling photo greeting cards and looking forward to the challenges ahead.