Dr. Stephen Covey

Dr. Covey is the chairman and founder of Covey Leadership Center and the author of the best-seller The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. As an internationally respected author, lecturer, teacher and leadership mentor, he was named one of Time magazines most influential Americans. He has a PHD from Brigham Young University, an MBA from Harvard University, and a bachelor of science degree cum Laude, from the University of Utah. His accomplishments and credentials are impressive, but he is also the father of nine children. This presentation came from the heart of an educator and a father.

Dr. Covey was introduced by Amy Klobuchar, Hennepin County Attorney, wife, and mother. She talked briefly about the tremendous challenges families face today, and then interjected some humor telling a few stories about her own family.

The outline and slides used in the presentation were included in a brochure each participant received. It hinted at a tremendous amount of well-organized material, undoubtedly gleaned from his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Successful Families, but the actual presentation was low key and personal, not intended to cover every aspect of the outline. Instead Dr. Covey seemed determined to share some of the most compelling information. He made his first point using a compass, demonstrating that north is always the same and pointing out that we all need a personal compass to help us with a clear sense of direction. Similarly he discussed, “lighthouse principles,” values that cannot be broken and upon which we want to build our life and the life of our family. Families need something that is changeless because, as Dr. Covey said, “No society can survive the breakdown of the family”.

4 Action Tips for Highly Effective Families

1. Develop a Family Mission Statement - This will be a combined, unified expression from all family members to define what your family is all about and the principles you choose to govern your family life. Strive to connect family activities and traditions with the Mission Statement.
2. Plan regular family times - Plan a weekly time when the whole family is expected to be together. This time can be for teaching or sharing important life concepts; listening to family members and solving problems; attending entertaining or cultural events together. It will be an expectation that everyone will be present.
3. Schedule regular one-on-one bonding times with each family member - “What is important to your child must be important to you!” Have weekly dates with your spouse and individual times with each child , where they decide the activity. It might also include volunteering at your child’s school or showing up for a visit during the lunch break. Develop meaningful bed-time rituals (talking, sharing, reading, singing, praying).
4. Build Family Traditions - Children love traditions such as special meals, celebrating birthdays or holidays, family vacations, or working on family histories or newsletters.

• First explore what your family is all about by listening respectfully and recording every thought and idea. This step could take weeks or months in order to gather everyone’s input.
• When writing the Mission Statement include input from everyone including the opportunity to word it in such a way that everyone feels good about it. There is no format; imagination is the key and should reflect the character of the family. It can be a long or short statement, poetry, or an illustration.
• The key parts of the mission statement are
  • Define the characteristics of the home (fun, caring, nurturing, etc.)
  • Desired effects upon the family members (better, stronger, kinder, etc.)
  • Meaningful purpose
  • Identified source of principles (love, integrity, service, etc.)
  • Deal with the four basic needs of people: to live, to love, to learn, to leave a legacy.
• Stay on course and keep the statement alive. Give everyone a copy, refer to it often, and on a regular basis check to see how you are living in relationship to your family mission statement. Make “course corrections” as needed.

Sue O'Brien is the wife of Tom, mother of four children, and grandmother of six. She is dental hygienist and manages a dental practice in Spring Lake Park. A parishioner for many years, Sue worked as a caregiver at Grace House for seven years, beginning the week it opened. Now she is looking forward to meeting new people at St. Joan of Arc as she helps out as a web reporter and photographer. Sue can be reached at remdds@prodigy.net.