| "Sex and Spirit" |  |
| "Sex and Spirit" | |
For many growing up in the Catholic faith, talking about one's own sexuality
was forbidden territory. Not only did you not talk about it, you did not
inquire either. The Church's response: Sex is for procreation only. Any
suggestions to the contrary and you might as well brand Hester's "A" on your
chest. Even today, sexual needs are met with deaf ears, intolerance,
condescension, scorn by the
majority of leaders in the Catholic Church. Any wonder we have rampant abuse
of sexual power amongst the clergy?
Having sexual feelings is a natural God-given gift. But when one feels sexually repressed, alienated, unfulfilled, ashamed or misunderstood does the Church service God’s gift. When someone feels not accepted because of their sexual orientation or one experiences sexual dysfunction in their marriage or partnership, what does the Church do in response to these needs? And where does spirituality come into play concerning our sexuality? Can we connect them? Well, look no further than St. Joan's.
SJA's 2002 Advent Retreat addressed sexuality as not only natural and vitally important to our health and well-being, but truly central to the expression of our inner spirit. Led by Fintan Moore and Rebecca Voelkel-Haugen, co-pastors of Spirit of the Lakes United Church of Christ in Minneapolis, 35 people attended this six hour workshop held December 14th in the SJA Church.
Rebecca started the retreat by leading everyone in song with "Holy Ground," then read from the second chapter of Genesis along with quotes from Matthew Fox's The Five Books of Moses. The Opening Ritual - Gaia Meditation followed with readings from Fintan, Rebecca and other readers. Adapted by John Seed and Joanna Macy from Thinking Like a Mountain: Towards a Council of All Beings, the intersecting cycles of Water, Earth, Air and Fire were examined. Fintan read, "You were there, I was there, we were there, each cell of our body is descended in an unbroken chain from that event." And moreover, he said, our sexuality connects with plants as well as animal life.
Introductions from the 35 people in attendance followed. Comments varied wildly in terms of their interests in the workshop: "I'm a product of that Church that is unhealthy," "I'm curious. Spirituality meant exclusion of sexuality," and "You guys better be sexy and divine."
When discussing dialogue about one's sexuality, Rebecca talked about the importance of creating a safe place, alluding to George McCloud's Iota: [from] "a thin place, scary and dangerous, confidential, going into a holy and sacred place." It's like making a thin place feel safe. Turning a place that is thick and impenetrable into one that is inviting and secure. As the song goes, "With walls so thin that anyone can walk right in."
Integrating sexuality with spirituality, Fintan and Rebecca laid out the agenda for the program. Four pacts from Matthew Fox's "Original Blessing" would be used as a tool to aid, understand and deal with our sexuality:
"Sexuality is a divine invitation to find our destiny, not in loneliness, but
in deep connection." A colleague of Matthew Fox, Star Hawk, suggests from her
book, Dreaming In the Dark, that we are a culture of estrangement. Sexually we
are wounded. The root of that disease is power and status, a game that is
played out to denigrate us. The erotic can confirm out uniqueness. It is the
realm where the spiritual, political and personal come together. Where the
sensuous and spiritual meet with levels of appropriateness. Where the circles
of lover, social justice and family interact.So how can we bring the erotic into the spiritual community appropriately? One participant suggested that we "move from neurotic to erotic." Fintan believes we need to step into another place where we move into our pain, but not wallow in it. Where we behold our sexuality as both a dignity and a uniqueness.
Rebecca initiated our "Via Negativa" activity of the day, the timeline exercise. She asked, "What lies were you taught or abuses did you endure?" We were asked to recall our first communion, our first confirmation, the first time we noticed affection, our first crush, the first time we masturbated, made love, the first time we embraced prayer. Then by creating a time line, write down the highlights of your sexual and spiritual life with crayons, markers and poster paper.
After 45 minutes we were asked to break into small groups and discuss the following:
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| Fintan Moore |
Fintan recalled the difficulty of coming out of the closet as a Gay man. From sixteen years as a strange human being in his youth to sixteen years as an adult Christian Brother, only through a community of men called Dignity - who like him were Gay and misunderstood- did he finally understand the duality of his sexual identity: coming to terms with his spiritual side as a Gay Pastor and with his sexual feelings, "two aspects of my personality were shaking hands - Brother Fintan and Slutty Fintan."
The Arts and Movement can interconnect all aspects of our body. Carter Hayward says, "Our sense of being bound together in life and death is also in the work of an artist who loves his painting or poetry. Like a father who loves his children or a revolutionary who loves his people." Before lunch break, we all anointed each other's hands with oil as a healing ritual connecting us to one another.
| In talking about the workshop during lunch with a group of people a consensus was reached that many people are connecting only with their genitals, hiding from their hearts as if their faces were veiled. So they/we are unable to connect when removed from the act of making love. |
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When we look at our selves and the massive amount of hours that we work each day, our mind and body soon split and we become utterly exhausted. We soon become estranged from ourselves. We need to rest and take better care of our bodies so that we can become at peace. Then too, can we truly embrace the harmonious ownership of our sexual and spiritual lives.
December 14, 2002
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