Memorial Mass Service of Remembrance

Wednesday, November 6th, 2002

Close to 150 St. Joan of Arc parishioners strolled into the beautifully decorated church lit with glowing candles all around. The ambiance reflected the somber purpose of this service with its warm sunset colored flower sprays and special altar linens embellished with the seasons’ bounty prepared carefully to please everyone’s eye.

I can only guess what was in each heart as I studied the faces of the men, women and yes, children, as they made their way to their seats in anticipating this service to remember someone who had died this past year, or perhaps many years past:

For some it might have been for closure and peace
For some it might be for healing the hurt of a great loss
For some it might be the need to remember
For some it might be to receive forgiveness or replace regret
For some it might just a desire to be in a place of quiet to reflect
For some it might be to be a comfort for another in pain

The opening prayer and introduction given by Fr. George encompassed the theme of remembrance, of hope and of reminding us of how we need to enter into the experience of life as we uplift our memories of the difficulties in our lives.

The opening song was, Shall We Gather At the River (a plea to lay our every burden down and wait for God’s Grace to fill our hearts)

The readings were carefully chosen to reflect the needs of people trying to lift their minds and bodies so as to rise from the mourning in their hearts. As Julie Madden began to read “Epitaph” by Merrit Malloy, I heard audible sighs of acquiescence and agreement to what was said: It begins:

“When I die give away what’s left of me away to children and old men that wait to die. And if you need to cry, cry for your brother or sister walking the street beside you. And when you need me, put your arms around anyone and give them what you need to give to me.”

The well-chosen music for this service was led by Joe Chouinard, Deb Harley and Steve Kremer. These fine St. Joan of Arc’s musicians led us in singing old favorites such as Simple Gifts, On Eagles Wings, You Are Mine and closing with Will the Circle Be Unbroken.

At homily time, Michael Hennessy presented his mime rendition of “The Kite”. Michael’s usual adeptness, grace and deeply spiritual read of this classic story is forever new and the interpretations vary with each viewing. In asking others for their view of Michael’s work, I found that each person had a different perspective. The main thrust is always hope and eventually freedom, but some saw the kite flyer as anticipating joy and then losing the kite with disappointment and finally finding joy at the freedom the kite has attained, though sad at its loss. Some saw the kite flyer actually turning “into” the kite as it soared into bird-like freedom. Either way has one mesmerized by the thought of its delight.

Next was The Candle Ritual where each person is given a thin candle, which they light from the fire of the Paschal candle. It is then brought to the altar area where two large copper tubs filled with sand are waiting. The presider asks the person whom they would like to remember. As they speak the name (sometimes with difficulty) the lighted candle is placed into the sand with the other candles.

The sight of the many-lighted candles in the shimmering copper pots is almost hypnotic and the energy forces are almost visible while the candles burn down into the sand. It truly felt like holy ground. This part of the service is always a very emotional segment with many tears, hugs and hand-holdings. I felt it was the time that many people found the answers to those things I alluded to at the beginning of this article. Perhaps they received what they had been seeking upon arrival. Those that had not had the opportunity to say a name out loud had found a quiet and safe space to speak it and maybe for the first time allowed the tears to fall. The healing had begun.

Another poignant part of this service is when George speaks the names of all the parishioners who have died during the past year one felt their presence in hearing those names spoken once again.

After Communion was distributed and the Eucharistic Celebration was concluded, I personally felt a great burden lifted, just like all the prayers, music and ritual of the evening promised. I am grateful to St. Joan’s Prayer Partners and staff and maintenance crew who exist to understand the needs of the parishioners and work to successfully accomplish that end. Special thanks to Pat Walsh for the lovely fall flower displays.

JoAnn Potts is a retired music and English teacher/choir director and 30 year member of St. Joan's. She enjoys volunteering to assist Anna Vagle with music tasks one day each week; singing in the choir; writing her memoirs and poetry; keeping up with friends and family via email; visiting the North Shore and entertaining friends. JoAnn and Jim, husband and wife team of 50 years, are proud of their family of five children and nine grandchildren.

Everyone was invited to join together for refreshments served in the vestibule where the speaking of names and the joining of hearts continued until the last candle died, again reminding us of the importance of entering into life experiences with hope and love and just plain… movin’ on!

Peg LaSota comes from a photography background. She now works in the digital world, computer instruction, and with "videography" and the restoration of family films. She is enthusiastic about capturing family memories and preserving them digitally. Along with that, her time is spent with her family and her love for learning Spanish, piano, recorder.....and of course singing with the choir!