Communal Reconciliation Service ...“I just started laying my burdens down…” Sunday, April 1st, 2001

“Throw Down Your Stones” was the theme for the Communal Reconciliation Service on this afternoon in the St. Joan of Arc gym. The SJA Prayer Partners and Fr. George Wertin offered the community a Reconciliation Service with prayer, music, reflection and absolution. The service is a way of individually and communally recognizing our need for grace and forgiveness.

In one of the readings, it was spoken that the Buddhists believe compassion is the highest form of intelligence. This story exemplifies this belief:

There was a story told, a true story, about a man who was on staff at a church. He told his fellow staff people that he had AIDS and that he was gay. The church people had mixed emotions; many prayed for and supported the man, some struggled with the news of his sexuality. One man in particular, a co-worker, felt betrayed. He asked this man to apologize for what he did to him. The man who was gay stated that he didn’t feel he had anything to apologize for. Years later, when the man was dying from AIDS, he laid in the hospital and received a phone call from his former co-worker who again asked this man to apologize for being gay. The man, knowing in his heart the pain his friend was in, asked - “Will you forgive me?”….

We each picked up a stone as we walked into church. I held mine… watching how it crumbled and left black marks on my palm. It wasn’t a nice, smooth colorful stone that you want to carry with you for comfort. No, this was almost coal-like, dirty, rough around the edges, and black. I really didn’t want to hold it at all- so I set it down on the floor by my feet.

When we were asked to hold our stone, I did so - rather reluctantly. I held it lightly in a removed sort of way. As we were told what this stone represents, I began to connect with it and through the meditation, I found it very hard to let it go.

We were told that this rock represents our pain, our sins, our burdens. This rock represents the many stones we’ve cast towards strangers or our loved ones and the many stones that we’ve held and carried. It represented our fear, our anger and our loss. Then, we were told that when we were ready and however we wanted to, we could carry our stones to the foot of Jesus and lay them down. Normally, I’m the first to do anything… but, I found that I wasn’t ready to let this one go… even though it was messy, dark, ragged and unsightly, this stone was the one thing I wasn’t ready to let go of. It represented my dreams for myself, my wants and needs and my pain. How could I just lay that down and trust that Jesus would take my burden and do with it what I wanted Him to do? …

As the many people waded through the line, one by one letting go of their stones and laying them at the foot of the Lord, I eventually decided to do the same. I laid it down by a rock and a candle close to the cross and asked Jesus to take good care of my pain.

I forgave myself and my loved ones and I decided to trust God to take over from here….

As one man said, coming out of last year’s communal reconciliation… “It’s just too easy”… I can honestly say that this was not easy, and the road that continues to lead me down a trusting path and a compassionate path, will not be easy to walk either. But, I now know that it was the right thing to do and that all things do come through the Lord and my burden is in good hands.

MarySue Hansen

Lisa Leo is a video photographer for the PioneerPress who lives in St. Paul.