Advent Retreat St. Joan’s Style   Exploring the Darkness and the Light

"I want to remind you of the meaning of blue in Advent. Blue is the color of Advent, not purple-even though it was used instead of blue, for many generations. Purple is penitential and belongs to Lent. The deep blue of Advent reminds us of the night sky and the contrasting light shining in the darkness."-Fr. George Wertin

We step into the church at 9:00 o’clock on Saturday morning and are immediately transported to another world. It’s a world that calls on all of our senses to drop their winter guard and revel in the sights and sounds that surround us. Bright sunlight distills stained glass windows into soft patches of red, blue and yellow that reach half way across the room. The lovely oriental rug in the middle of the floor is bare except for a tall bouquet of blue balloons held in place by weighted, cloth-covered packets that look like velvet. Similar balloons are positioned near chairs set in circles of five or six around the rest of the room.

At the front of the room, Christ, life-sized in polished wood, is suspended with outstretched arms over the whole scene. Below him Christmas trees with tiny white lights sparkle in the background. It looks like a party about to happen. In a way, as it turns out, that is what it becomes.

We, maybe fifty or so, have left the world temporarily behind to “prepare the way of the Lord” in our own hearts. We do this by exploring the Darkness, Mystery and Light that surround this wonderful feast that so delights and at times humbles us.

The way we do this is what saves these topics from becoming merely academic. In a matter of a few hours, each of our small groups strip away formalities that usually clothe strangers and find ourselves sharing heart to heart. In doing so, at the end of the day there are no strangers left in the room.

Rachel Kroog, singer and musician, settles us down with her song, Darkness Cover Me, then leads us in singing “Light our way. . .as we journey in the darkness." Light our way. . .gift us with hope for the world.

Mary Eve Thomas reads a prayer, “Grant Me Your Sense of Timing” which speaks of lessons we need to learn: lessons of God’s sense of timing; lessons of endings and lessons of beginnings, all in this season of “short days and long nights, all gray and white and cold.”

Mark Scannell is the first of the retreat team to speak to us and share his insights on the topic of Mystery. His question for us to consider is do we approach life as a problem to be solved, or a mystery to be lived and entered into? By the time he is finished, we come to see that living into the mystery is a good way to live. He offers us three ways that can help with that process:

• Experience community in order not to feel alone on the journey
• Prayer, invoke a Higher Power
• Openness to moments of surprise & synchronicity

Those of us who wish to, then speak to the larger group about the insights and conclusions that we’ve reached. Ron Joki, another of the retreat team, acts as moderator and makes sure that all those who want to speak get a chance to do so.

Our next speaker is Pat Walsh who gives us a slightly different perspective on Darkness. She tells us first that Darkness is where all life came from originally and does so today in the mother’s womb. It often leads us into uncomfortable places, parts of ourselves that we’d rather not see. It can scare us, but it’s still a part of us.

Pat says that darkness penetrated our world on September 11th, and she wants us to understand that when darkness comes to one, it spreads to all. She tells us that when we try to push away the darkness in our lives it always drains our energy. Therefore we must embrace whatever causes pain and have compassion for it.

“Befriend the cancer in your life,” Pat says. “Let it speak to you.” She reminds us that all of us have some kind of darkness in our lives because we’re human, so we must stop treating it as the enemy. Instead treat it as a gift.

In our quiet time and later in our small and large groups we try to answer the question, What is that gift in my life? When the pain has finally left, what have I learned?

Tom Smith-Myott, another of the retreat team, then sheds more light on the topic of Light. We are instinctively drawn to light and look toward its sources: the sun, moon and stars. Light is both life giving and dangerous, Tom says, and reminds us that we need shadow in order to see. He tells us, too, that Light is mysterious: science is not quite sure what it is because at any one time we can only see part of it.

Tom goes on to say that Light pervades our understanding of God. In the Beginning, God said “Let there be light,” and there was light. Then God separates the Light from the Dark. Jesus in the Bible is shown as an expression of Great Light. Peter Russell, author of The Global Brain, has written that light is the foundation of every action in the universe. He says that one manifestation of God is the light of consciousness shining in every one of us.

Again, in small and large groups we ponder these insights and realize that both Light and Darkness are necessary for life. Someone in our group shares this quote by an unknown author: “We have loved the stars too deeply to be afraid of the night.”

When we come back from a delicious lunch served in Hospitality Hall, we are greeted again by our balloons, but this time the blue ones are joined by big yellow ones.

Ron Joki tells us that for a closing ceremony we must make a choice. We get to keep one balloon, but which will it be, the blue or the yellow? Which do we need more in our lives at this moment, more shadow, or more light? Only we, individually, can decide.

We are told that there is a gift for each of us in the cloth bundles that have weighted the balloons. We open them to find four beautiful polished stones inside; a black one for the darkness in our lives, a white one for light, and two gray one for the times in between. They will remind us of this day and one another and so enrich Christmas for each of us with their quiet glow.

We gather in a large circle then on the rug in the middle of the room, each with only one balloon in our hands, and on cue release it. Blues, mingled with yellows, slowly float to the ceiling.

Jo Youngren and her husband,Dave, have been members at SJA for a little over a year now. However, about 20 years ago Jo was a member and worked with Harvey Egan and Cy Speltz for 4 years. Her first husband, Jack Welch, was buried from there, and later Jo and Dave were married in what is now The Itaska, but at the time was a warehouse with a large gathering of SJA folks attending and Fred & Anna supplying the music - the church in a slightly different setting at the time giving us their blessing. Jo and Dave have been married for 19 years and back in Minnesota for the last 13.

Ron wonders out loud what folks at the 5:00 o’clock Mass will think of the sight, and the children at the 9:00 on Sunday morning. I decide they will think there has been a party, another party, at St. Joan of Arc, and they will be right.

Peg LaSota is interested in the biographies of parishioners... any suggestions?? She also loves studying piano, recorder, Spanish, and of course...singing in the choir!