"Breaking Out of Old Patterns"
... a workshop on childhood abuse
April 25th, 2001
On Wednesday, April 25, 20 people gathered in the church to explore recovering from childhood sexual abuse. Norine Larson opened the workshop by sharing thoughts on how children can learn shame and low self-esteem from different adults in their life, and of the need to break patterns that continue to persist across generations.
Karin Grosscup helped us center ourselves and create a safe space. Next, Deb
Harley sang a song inspired by the death of Jessica Swanson and the sentence
her killer received. At that point Sheila Cole was introduced, and she
proceeded to tell us her story of enduring, surviving, and recovering from
childhood sexual abuse.
We learned about how normal childhood development can be affected by the abuse; the secrets, violated space, and blurred boundaries all of which have an impact on the victims behavior for many years. Many abuse victims end up replicating abuse on themselves by abusing alcohol or becoming promiscuous in an attempt to feel a sense of control.
Sheila also told us of startling statistics - that 85% of children abused are abused by someone they know. 90% of convicts and juvenile delinquents report having been abused. Before age 19, 1 out of 4 girls and 1 out of 6 boys experience some form of abuse within their families.
Sheila's husband Dan also spoke to us about how her journey of recovery had impacted their relationship, and how he also had to grow and change with her. He spoke of what it means to be supportive without trying to 'fix' her. It was interesting to hear his perspectives as the husband of a victim.
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