After an extensive research and data collecting effort (interviews, surveys, documents, etc) we(CHS) found the following MYTHS and MISCONCEPTIONS surround the adoption of Minnesota’s Waiting Children

• M: The community is not aware of the large numbers of children in foster care waiting to be adopted

  Fact: At any give time about 1000 children are waiting in foster care for a permanent family to adopt them. The majority is school age children, 60% are children of color, 69% are in a sibling group of 2 or more, to be adopted together, 70% have a documented psychological, emotional or physical special need.

• M: The term “special needs” carries many negative connotations, and some of it is misleading
  Fact: The term special needs include physical, AND psychological, emotional and behavioral needs. Because these children have experienced abuse and neglect, and lots of grieve and loss, they have underlying emotional needs, especially around trust, that often manifest themselves in behaviors.

  Lack of understanding that these kids are part of our communities , they are not locked away or “housed” somewhere else

  Fact: These children live in foster care in our communities. They live in our neighborhood; attend school with our kids, and Sunday school in our churches, etc.

  Adoption is expensive

  Fact: The state of Minnesota in partnership with private agencies like CHSM pays all the costs of adopting MN Waiting Kids. After finalization the state continues to provide monthly subsidies to families and lots of other support services such as special needs camp, Medical Assistance, daycare costs and respite care. The state wants children in permanent families and has worked to take all financial obstacles out of the way of potential adoptive families. (Most adoptive parents have annual earning of $25-$50,000)

  The Counties have the children; we need to go to the counties to get them.

  Fact: Children are under that guardianship of the counties of MN. Agencies like CHSM work with families, and collaborate with counties to match families with the children under their care. All children in the state are available to all families with a completed homestudy regardless of whether they work with private or public agencies. CHSM has extensive and comprehensive services to offer families after placement, which are not available at the counties.

  I’m too old. Younger, Infertile couples adopt.

  Fact: The average age of adoptive parents is between 37 year and 50 years old. Some adoptive families have parenting experience, others do not. About 15-20% of adoptive parents are single parents.

  Adopting an older child with issues is too scary, there is nothing to be gained, I’m not sure I can do it…

  Fact: All children deserve families where they are loved, wanted, supported --a place to find healing. Adoptive parents tell us that, while adopting an older child is the most challenging thing they’ve ever done, their adopted child has brought blessings beyond measure to them, to their family and community. Their own birth children and others have gained compassion, tolerance, and a heart for people’s less fortunate in life.

Do I have what it takes to be an adoptive parent? Adoptive parents and years of experience have told us the following characteristics make for great adoptive parents:

• Love for children
• Realistic expectations
• Ability to accept the child and his/her challenges
• Ability to give without getting a lot in return
• Strong support network-family, friends, church, professionals
• And a willingness to use it!
• Strong couple relationship if co-parenting
• Patience and flexibility
• Sense of Humor
• Creativity
• Open to a on-going learning and using community resources
• Maturity-healthy sense of self, coping skills, boundaries, ability to empathize, not easily offended
• Successfully coped with grief, loss and life’s obstacles ... AND ...
• Undeterred commitment to your child

GOAL: It is our goal to finding loving families who can provide a healing home environment for children who have experienced abuse and neglect